Hello RWL and Happy New Year. Melissa here. I wanted to talk to you all a bit about what the a new year can bring and how overwhelming it can be.
LOTS of people start off the a new year with New Year, New Me!! I know I have several times. The expectation of being bigger and better in the new year is great when you see it on paper but in reality it can be OVERWHELMING. Did you know that 80% of people quit on new years resolutions? They do. I did every single time!
Last year was a hard year. We all know that. The mental health crisis that no one is talking about, has gone through the roof. People are more depressed and now have crippling anxiety. Lawrence and I fall under those categories for different reasons and it has been hard. Both of us have been overwhelmed more than once with his full time job, family, church, online schooling, my other blog, the house, sports and the list goes on. Then add the holidays, COVID, and the government issues on top of all of that and it adds up to a disaster. Now there is the expectation of being better than you were the year before with these New Years resolutions that you know you will never stick to but adding that to your plate anyway.
Does any of that sound familiar? Does that sound overwhelming? The outside world has only been feeling this overwhelming feeling for a short time but for someone with PTSD it has been going on for who knows how long. Even when you think all is right in your head and life is going great, it seems to take one little thing to bring on that feeling of being overwhelmed. Then you spend the next few days, weeks, or months trying to get out of that feeling. It’s not easy to deal with.
Once you are overwhelmed the outside world feels it too. You are angry all the time, yelling at your kids and spouse, your exhausted, depressed, and falling deeper into a hole that you can not seem to dig out of.
So lets look at that hole. Here you are stuck at the bottom of this massive hole (all your responsibilities, the world, PTSD, and what ever else can add to that overwhelming feeling) and you are struggling to get out. You are trying to grab places in the hole to climb out but the dirt gives way and you slide back down. You might even have things throwing dirt in on top of you trying to bury you alive or so it seems. What are you thinking? What are you feeling? Hopeless? Frustrated? Angry? Scared? Defeated? Worthless? Useless?
That’s a lot of emotions to process right? You can not possibly get out of that hole? OR CAN YOU? There are ways to dig out of that hole but remember you might need help doing it. Think of it this way, every time you eliminate or switch something around to lessen that feeling, a step appears in the hole and you are closer to making it out of it.
So first make a list of all of the things that you feel like you are drowning in and that are overwhelming you. This is going to be different for everyone. Mine normally starts with laundry and house work. We get so busy with church, school, and sports that my house suffers and then I get anxious. And then I’m overwhelmed and yelling at my family for making messes. Yep that’s me!! This is when I start passing stuff off. I have the boys and Lawrence help me clean the house and get the laundry done. YAY I just uncovered a step to get me out of this hole!! Where can you start?
One of the BIGGEST things that helps me dig out of the hole is to have a schedual and keep a solid routine. The consistency helps me a lot. It calms my brain because I already know what is coming in that day, week and month. If I know it is coming I can prepare for it. This also shows me what I can say yes and NO to. I know it is really hard to say NO but do it!! It is for your peace, not others. You are not everything to everyone, only God is. So it is okay to say NO!!!
Not a schedual person, then you need to look at the things in your life you need to be cut out. Is it a friend, family, or maybe a habit? Toxic things can add to feeling overwhelmed. Social media is a big one. It is really toxic depending on what you are watching and reading. Lawrence falls into this trap.
This might sound bad but lower the expectations you put on yourself. You can not do everything all the time all at once. It is not possible. It is okay to not be perfect. Give yourself some grace!
Now what if I told you there were things that could add more than one step to help you escape that hole! WHAT?? You can add more than one step at a time!!!??? YES!! Selfcare can add several steps to get you right out of that hole. For me this is reading my Bible, listening to worship music, crying in the shower, reading a book, going out for a meal alone, girls movie night, crafting in my craft room and several others things that I have found that have helped over the years. My new found love is CrossFit and goal setting. What are your hobbies, or favorite things to do? For Lawrence it is riding his Harley, hunting, fishing, shooting and hanging out with friends. These are all manageable things and basic needs.
Be aware of what your body is consuming. I mentioned social media earlier and even toxic relationships, but also food and sleep. I feel better when I am putting better things in my body. It helps with exhaustion too. And once you start getting rid of the feeling of being overwhelmed you will even sleep better. Also try your very best to ignore the things you can not directly control. For example, you can not control the government or COVID. So do not let that stuff overwhelm you. This is where my faith comes in and I put my faith in God for that. He has a plan and it is not mine to worry about.
There are things that you can not control and you will always have responsibilities and worries. Think of this as the top few feet of the hole. Since you did a reevaluation of everything though and all those steps appeared, you can still climb out of that hole even though there is still a few feet left. These few feet you can step out of because they are manageable. LOOK!! Your above ground!!
With all that said, DO NOT let the New Year add more pressure to you and overwhelm you. Do not let outside stuff or others throw dirt on your head as you are trying to climb out of that hole. Make a stand to get up and dig out though. Eliminate what you can. ADD self care!! Being overwhelmed sucks but it is possible to dig out of that hole. We all want you walking around with us and not buried in stuff that one day might not even matter. We are willing to help. Reaching out for help adds a step too!!
Lawrence and I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year!! If you need anything please contact us on here or on Facebook or Instagram under Relentless Warriors Legacy. Please Like, Share, Comment, and Subscribe!!
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
Melissa McGuire
Relentless Warrior's Legacy 